Going “home”….
This word “home” is such a powerful word. Where is it? What is there? People say, “I am going home” aren’t they starting off at home? Isn’t where you are home? So many questions about this little four letter word. What I realized, for myself, is how loaded this word was. I was born in Williams, Arizona so that is my birth home, I have heart-strings to a little island out in the middle of the Pacific ocean where I consciously started the process of becoming who I am, I choose to live in Prescott, Arizona and call this home. I guess you could say I am homeful.
My dad’s work gave the family the chance to have “summer homes”. He was stationed on top of Bill Williams for a few years, at a homestead called J.D. cabin for a few years and most recently at Tusayan Ranger Station. The first 5 summers of my life were spent exploring the treasures of Bill Williams, hiking, making friends with chipmunks and squirrels, learning about butterflies, and seeing Arizona from the top of a mountain. Soon after the stint on Bill Williams, Dad was stationed at J.D. cabin and so we started the joyful adventure of learning the treasures of this homestead. There were dry creek beds, cattle, horses, and miles of wilderness we were able to explore. Up in Tusayan I had the privilege to stay with Dad in his “home” and work at Airstar Helicopters. Living so close to the Grand Canyon I was able to visit the Canyon during its famous sunsets, explore the wilderness around the park, and working for the helicopter company see the Canyon’s glorious aerial views.
A couple of weeks ago I went up to Williams to visit with my parents. Since it was raining and we don’t do well sitting still we decided to take a drive and soak in the beauty around Williams. We headed out to Sycamore Canyon knowing that even in the rain we could jump out of the Jeep hustle to the rim, see it, and hustle back without too much effort. Once we started out the rain let up and so our minds traveled back in time to those summers at J.D. cabin. We decided to take that winding road down memory lane. J.D. cabin is now abandoned, a tree had fallen years ago and nicked the corner of the roof, the doors had been torn off, the barn looked as if it was on its way down. And yet the little things were still there, a small shelf on the wall, the plastic plates we used to have our meals on, an arm-chair we took great pride in sitting on, a fire pit in the back, the outhouse we all hated in the heat, chin up bars the guys used to keep in shape, and of course the flood of memories.
Once the trickle of memories starts, it seems as if the dam breaks and ALL the memories come back. Things I hadn’t thought of in years made their way in. Some very fond and some equally as frightening. Having a little time to be washed by these memories had a warm healing effect, yet there were a couple of memories that lingered to fester.
We left J.D. cabin and made our way to Sycamore Canyon, each of us a little quieter reflecting on those memories. When we reached the canyon we heard the roar of running water. Where we were is also called Paradise Forks by the locals because it two seasonal streams meet at the canyon looking like a fork. The walls are tall and paradise for rock climbers in the local area and the views are gorgeous. Arriving at the first fork there was a river flowing off the edge, I have never seen this before and neither had my parents. The fall was so beautiful and powerful, it took my breath away. We headed to Sycamore Fall to see what it looked like. At the middle of the fork we stopped to breathe in the beauty of the sights. There were small waterfalls cascading the canyon walls, there were rainbows from the mist of the falls, the canyon walls were being climbed by vegetation, and the sounds were music. Unable to contain ourselves we headed to Sycamore Fall and it was also quite impressive. I have a memory of seeing this fall in the winter with icicles cascading down the face and here I was witnessing the fall at its fullest! The magic of this place on a normal visit is palpable and yet this day it was truly tangible. Seeing what time it was and knowing we had a drive ahead we continued on our journey. We all made a remark of how we would be back to visit soon.
Back in Prescott my mind would flit back to those memories that flooded me in Williams. I couldn’t shake a couple of them, they seemed to lodge in the forefront of my mind. Of course these were the memories I had tried decades to forget about and was pretty successful at most of the time. Thankfully this last weekend I attended a workshop were I was finally able to release the emotional charge I felt confined by. The work I was learning about is a profound work helping to align the subconscious and the conscious to heal belief patterns no longer useful. It was amazing, after a practicing with a couple of classmates for about 20 minutes, I was able to look at a name that held a huge amount of emotional charge for over 20 years and question whose name that was. There were other experiences during the workshop but that made it so I feel as if I can go “home” in my memories without the fear I held before.
What gifts life bring to us as we learn and keep an inquisitive mind. I look forward to the next possible adventure and today I know, no matter what comes up, I can make it a joy and for that I am grateful!
Becky's Travel Blog 